BroNation: Mental health struggles men don’t talk about (and why they should)
Strength isn’t silence – it’s finding the courage to confront about the struggles you’ve been told to hide. This Mental Health Awareness Month, Clicks BroNation asked the experts about doing just this – and how to develop healthy coping habits.
You wake up, get dressed, go to work, and do what’s expected of you. You joke with friends, post the highlight reel on social media, and say “I’m fine” when someone asks. On the surface, everything looks okay. But inside, it can feel like you’re carrying a load that never gets lighter.
So many men know that feeling. The pressure to perform, the constant need to appear strong and in control, and the fear of being judged if you open up. These invisible struggles are more common than you think, and they can take a real toll on your mental and physical health.
Professor Kopano Ratele, a psychologist at Stellenbosch University, says this silence is rooted in how boys and men are taught to manage emotions.
“In a patriarchal society, men grow up believing they must restrict themselves to a short emotional range. They are taught to prefer being feared rather than loved, to shut down instead of opening up. Even showing fear or compassion is often seen as unmasculine.”
The result is a version of masculinity that leaves little space for vulnerability and a lot of men suffering quietly.
The effects of that silence run deeper than most people realise. When you bottle up emotions, your body stays on high alert. Stress hormones like cortisol remain elevated, which over time can raise blood pressure, weaken your immune system, and leave you vulnerable to illness.
Small shifts that make a big difference
Breaking this cycle does not require a major transformation. It begins with simple, consistent habits that strengthen your emotional awareness and resilience.
A daily five-minute check-in, where you pause and ask yourself how you are truly feeling, helps you catch stress before it builds. Journaling a few lines about your thoughts or experiences allows you to process emotions and spot patterns you might otherwise miss.
Physical activity is another powerful tool, helping your body regulate stress hormones and clear mental fog. Prioritising quality sleep can boost your mood and resilience, while reaching out to someone you trust, even with a short message, is a meaningful way to ease the weight you are carrying.
Anele Siswana, a clinical psychologist and mental health advocate, says that male friendships often form around shared activities rather than emotional conversations. This means that subtle signs of struggle can easily go unnoticed.
A friend who avoids social plans, overcompensates with intense activity, or dismisses questions about how he is doing may be signalling that something deeper is going on. Being patient, non-judgemental, and gently encouraging conversation can create space for support.
According to medical doctor and TV presenter Dr Michael Mol, emotional resilience is much like physical strength. “Your brain is a muscle too. If you do not train it, it atrophies. Mental fitness is about strength, endurance, and resilience, and you can build that with small daily habits.” Physical activity, meaningful connection, and regular rest all help strengthen your mental health.
The truth is that you do not need to wait for a crisis to start talking. You do not have to hit rock bottom to deserve support.
Starting small, noticing how you really feel, and reaching out to someone you trust are all acts of strength. Because the things you keep inside are often the ones that most need to be shared.
For advice and support contact the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) on 0800 21 22 23, SMS 31393, WhatsApp 076 882 2775 or visit www.sadag.org.
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